Happy Birthday, Lynnea

I admit, I never really know what to write on Lynnea's birthday, and today is no different.  She would have turned four today.  It's a hard day; on one hand, I really want to celebrate what a wonderful day it was when she was born, and how incredibly happy I am that she was a part of my life even if it was for such a short time, but on the other hand, it's impossible not to be really, really sad that today I'm not having a birthday party watching her open gifts and blow out candles on the cupcakes that we baked for her.  There's nothing that can really make this day any easier, but it is nice to remember some of the favorite moments that we had with her.  So, here's my Lynnea memory for today:

This morning when I was rocking Aiyana in the rocking chair before her morning nap, she kept leaning forward and then flinging herself backward against me.  This reminded me of when Lynnea used to do this.  We called it "Kaboom" and, I admit that it's not really one of my favorite baby games, but Lynnea thought it was a lot of fun.  I remember specifically the time after one of her heart caths when she thought it was an appropriate time to play "Kaboom."  See, after a heart cath, it is important to keep still for a few hours in order to prevent bleeding.  For Lynnea (and all babies/small children) this meant spending a few hours in the hospital crib strapped to a board to keep her from moving her legs.  Well, Lynnea hated this, and after this particular heart cath, the doctors and nurses thought that she might be happier if she were snuggling in my lap instead of strapped to the board.  I agreed that holding her might make her happier.  It did.  But it didn't keep her still.  As soon as she got out of the crib and into my arms in the rocking chair, she decided that nothing would be more fun than playing "Kaboom."  I ignored her the first few times she flung herself backward hoping that if I ignored her she would stop.  She didn't stop.  Since I didn't think this was what the doctors and nurses had in mind when the let her out of bed, I told her that she had to stop playing "Kaboom."  She reluctantly stopped and immediately found other ways to occupy herself: she set diligently to work trying to remove all of the medical equipment that was attached to her.  She removed her pulse oximeter several times (I kept putting it back on her toe, and she kept pulling it off as fast as I could put it back on), she pulled her nasal cannula out of her nose, she tried to remove her IVs and tugged desperately at the Velcro on the blood pressure cuff.  And, of course, she just laughed at me when I told her "No, no."

That's one of my favorite Lynnea memories because, despite the situation, she really was just being a typical naughty toddler.  I loved seeing her do "normal" things like that even though there was nothing normal about what was going on in her life. 

Aiyana is 10 Months Old!

Aiyana is looking and acting less like a baby and more like a toddler every day.  She easily walks around furniture and has no problem going from one piece of furniture to the next.  She also stands on her own for a little while.  She has a vocabulary of three words: "Da-da" "Num-num" and "Nigh-night."  She is especially fond of "Num-num!"  While she still eats baby food, she has decided that table foods are wonderful and enjoys eating whatever the rest of us are having whenever we are willing to share with her.  Fortunately, she has a big sister who is willing to share snacks with her whenever she asks.